Once upon a time in Nigeria, there was a gingerbread man called Nube. He was on yet another escapade in his busy, frantic life with his favourite sheep/goat called Wells.
It was winter time.
It was cold
and Nube had run out of money.
Being a gingerbread man, Nube had a natural inclination to gamble and had managed to get himself into a right pickle during a poker game with some russian mafia marshmellows, known as the Pistachios. Nube had bluffed to try and win the hand, but didn't realise that due to recently polishing his icing coat outline, all the other players had been cheating him the whole game. However, Nube felt lucky and went all in (ayyyyy). Needless to say he lost. So Nube and Wells were stranded in the cold desolate underground bin they had been staying in, with no food or hope of getting home.
Finding this predicament hard to solve, Wells took it upon himself to bail Nube out of trouble as Nube had done for him on many occasion. But boy did this prove to be a bad idea! It is also well known that goats are goats and should not, under any circumstances, think.
Wells Big Plan Gone Wrong.
Wells believed that the only way out was to rib a bank, and, thinking he was a goat and therefore pretty generic looking, didn't need to wear a mask while robbing a bank. So off Wells trotted, into the first Barclay's he found. He spat on the door and then butted 10 civilians who were queuing inside.
The look of shear determination on Wells' face meant he only had to stand there and the cashiers handed over the money.
Whooooo thought Wells, we are in the money and Nube is safe and we can go home and we can eat meringue pie and spaghetti meat balls.
Nee nor Nee noe.
Wells was caught and sent to Nigerian goat prison for 12 years....all because he forgot to take off his favourite batman-like cape during the hold-ip and therefore was indisputably recognisable in the line up.
true story
No comments:
Post a Comment