A Christmas Carol

How exactly Nube found himself in this shocking state of affairs he would often ask himself in the future and never getting any closer to the answer...most likely due to the fact that it involve a lot of alcohol and drugs and so the memory just plain doesn't exist for him to recall.

The ship swayed in the violent ocean waves and turned Wells a shade of green that can only be imagined for his fur didn't actually allow anyone to see it directly. Both he and Wells were at the helm barking orders like proper  worthy sea dogs.
'We have to reach the north pole and FAST' Nube cried. Time was against them, they only had another 10 hours left to return  Santa to his elves, given the time allowed for him to have a wash, greet loved ones, pack the sleigh, have a cuppa, account for 3 hours sleep to make up for the previous 9 months of torture and slavery, wee and have a quick mince pie. Nube would not allow himself to be held accountable for loss of christmas this year all because of a little sea sicken, a delicate, mutinous crew and a packful of hungry, angry pirate wolves just 10 miles behind.
'They are closin' on us Cap'in!' Shouted Wells above the crashing and hammering of the waves and the cries of the strained sails.
'Here, gimme your leg Wells and I'll jam it in 'ere wheel to hold our course, while I rally ourrrrrrr troops!' Nube yarrrrrred back. So, Wells detached one of his 4 wooden legs (again how this came about is a haze but involved a hack saw, some knitting needles and Red Riding Hood's Dad) and handed it to Nube then followed him (with some instability) to the ships deck.
'RIGHT YOU SCALLIWAGS, THE ENEMY IS HARD ON OUR TAIL. I WANT THE CANNONS AT THE READY AND I WANT YOU TO MAN THIS SHIP LIKE ITS THE LAST THING YOU'LL EVER DO! THERE AIN'T NO GOLD IN SANTA'S BEARD IF YOU AIN'T GOT THE LIFE TO STAND UP AND TAKE IT!'
'Ay Ay Cap'in' they all cried.
Well, that wasn't too hard was it. A bit of a grrr on the speech and they all belived him to be a true Captin, that and the illusion that Santa's beard was magical and Santa could conjure infinite amounts of treasure when treated with kindness, like say rescuing and returning him home. Nube could get used to this life, the adrenaline, the adventure, the sea air......blurrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh......Nube chucked up his lunch all over Wells who was on the wrong side and due to missing a leg couldn't move in time. 'What you all staring at, you good for nothing scoundrels?! Ain't you never seen a gingerbread man hurl from eating too many chocolate coins before?!....It's a battle ritual!'
'oh yeah...' a mubble of agreement went round. Hmm, maybe convincing these giant candle pirates is harder that first appears.

They could hear the howls of the wolves now, hard on their heels, they would have to face and fight if they were to have the advantage!
'Turn 'er about! Lets should these dogs what we've got!'
'YEAAHHHHH'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgGA-hHWxtA

The sails whipped round and the cannons were brought forward and loaded in quick, sure movements of highly practised candlewax men. Explosions errupted and streams of colour filled the sky, the smoke was thick and the noise deafening. When the smoke lifted/knocked about but hurricane winds, it was clear who had won.....the wolves ship was like one massive party popper. Coloured streamers covered the entire rigging. Wolves were suffocating under the weight of the industrial sized, dyed tissue paper. It was a victory for Nube and Wells.
'Well done shipmates, now lets roll, we are out of time!! Com'on, put your backs into it, you lazy fire hazards!' ...Nube secretly loved the power!

The illegal cargo of meat-free cat food was ditched overboard to lighten the ship, extra sails were woven but the giant spider slaves in the hull of the ship and Santa was forced to go the treadmill to lose some of the excess weight! At this speed they might just make it.....
...and they did....but the real problem was getting back with an angry, cheated mob of pirates made of candlewax on their tails!!!.......